Deadpool
by Pun212
Summary: A new Deadpool ongoing from me. All the Deadpool Murder, Mayham and hijenks you need. Please Read and Review. I`m a big boy, I can take a negative review
1. A Garden Party

Deadpool

A Garden Party

"I have a job for you Deadpool"

"Yay," cried Deadpool as he jumped up and down in joy as he looked at his employer and took in his surroundings. Right now Pool was in a nice office. With large windows that showed a wonderful view of the New York Skyline. His employer a tall man in a black Armani suit looked mildly annoyed at his display.

"Deadpool can we please act like adults here. If there is one thing I can`t stand its people acting like fools"

"Sir Yes Sir," Deadpool shouted out while he saluted. "I will not act like a fool anymore Sir. Private Pool ready for some action."

"Good, I want Reggie Bryant Dead," He said in a serious voice.

"The Basketball player," Pool Responded in a puzzled tone.

"Yes"

"Ok, what ever you want, long as the check clears and I get tickets to opening day at Shea Stadium, I`m happy."

With that last comment the door opens and an attractive office assistant walks in.

"Whoa, If I told you, you had a nice body would you hold it next to mine," Pool said to the assistant.

"Mr. Wilson,"

"Hey how`d you know my name," Deadpool interrupted 

"I know many things, Like for example I can tell you what Nick Fury`s SAT scores were"

"Wow," Deadpool said with a whistle.

"Anyway I have an appointment with the mayor soon. My assistant will write you a check for 2 million dollars. I want Bryant dead by the time his team leaves New York," with that he left the room. After writing out the Check Deadpool was shown outside.

2 days later

Madison Square Garden

"Bryant dribbles up court. He stops he pops," Screamed Marv Alberts as he called the play.

As the Knicks inbounded the ball Bryant stole the pass from Alan Houston. He then dunked in Spreewell`s face and walked down the sideline. As he exchanged a few words with Spike Lee, the Ref blew his whistle. 2 seconds later a single bullet flew the ceiling and hit Bryant right in the head. As the body fell and Spike Lee wiped blood off his shirt Deadpool climbed out of an hatch and jumped from the top of the Garden roof to an neighboring building. He then got in a care and drove away from the Garden as he put on the radio and listened to WFAN and laughed at his handiwork.

A couple of hours later

Los Angles 

"Sir, we just got word from the team. Looks like Garden Security Camara`s caught this man walking in,' The assistant said as he held up a black and white photo of a handsome young man.

"Wilson,' growled John Carter as he grabbed the Photo. "How did I know he would be stupid enough to mess with me. Bullseye, Elektra, Taskmaster, they all know not to mess with one of my assets but no. He doesn`t." He then pointed at his assistant.

"White I want the team to come back to L.A. as soon as possible"

"Yes sir,"

"After the team makes it to L.A. I want you to hire Buckshot. Tell him I want Deadpool`s head on a silver platter. Tell him money is no object. Also tell him to bring back the head of whoever hired him."

To Be continued 


	2. The Shallow End of the Pool

L.A. California 

Beep, Beep, went a shrill noise as it broke thru the darkness of the room. At first there were no reaction but the noise continued and then there was a rustle beneath the covers of the king-sized bed. As the noise continued a figure got up from the bed and picked up the phone.

"Hello," said the figure in a groggy voice

"I have a job for you Buckshot." With that Buckshot wiped the sleep outta his eyes and woke up.

"Who do I have to kill today," said Buckshot as he turned on a light. As the light filled the room, Buckshot came into full view. He had a military hair cut, with a solid body. He had a face and a body that had no particular marks. No birth marks, or scars, nothing that would set him apart from another person.

"Look in your laptop," said the voice on the other end of the line.

Buck got up from his bed and walked across the room. He opened the fridge and grabbed a half-gallon of milk as he waited for the laptop to turn on. After a minute it turned on a picture appeared on the screen. It was a man entering Madison Square Garden. 

"That guy looks familiar for some reason," said Buckshot as he clicked to see more pictures. The next picture showed the same guy walking away from a concession stand with a giant cotton candy and a light wand. Buckshot clicked on the next picture and it showed the same man tripping a street clown. Another Picture showed the same man reaching into a baby carriage and taking a lollipop while the parents were looking in another direction.

"Carter believes the man's name is Wilson"

"I knew it," He said snapping his fingers. "What did Wade do this time?"

"During a game with the Knicks, the Lakers had a good lead. Our boss's favorite player had just made a shot and was talking trash to the Knick`s mascot Spike Lee. Then as he turned around one shot killed Carter's favorite player "

"I'll take the job. Standard fee, good bye," Buckshot said as he hung up and looked at the rest of the file on his laptop.

"Damn Pool messed up this time," he said aloud. As he said that his mind traveled back in time and he remembered the days of Weapon X. He remembered how Wilson would talk about his girl friend Vanessa. He remembered when he met Wilson's friend Kane. He remembered how Wilson beat cancer thanks to the project and some borrowed DNA from the mutant Wolverine. After the side effects happened that's when Kane thought he lost his mind. I mean what sane person would wear that gaudy costume and call himself Deadpool. I guess all the good names were taken.

As he finished reminiscing he finished the file and found out that his boss had reserved him first class tickets to New York.

"I hope I can get some sleep before I have to figure out if Pool is as good as I remember from the Weapon X days,' he thought as he went back to sleep and turned off the lights.

Brooklyn New York

"Welcome to Sportscenter," went the TV, as Deadpool walked out of his bedroom. Wearing a bright blue robe with big Blues Clues slippers he listened as a Sportscenter anchor interviewed a NYPD detective about the death of Reggie Bryant.

Sitting down with a big bowl of fruity pebbles he started to eat when the door rang.

"Who the Fu*k is that," he grumbled as he put down the bowl. "This better be important. Disturbing me in the middle of breakfast." As he walked toward the door the knocking got louder. "I'll be right there, calm down"

He opened the door a little bit and said "who are you"

"Jehovah's witness. We wish to discuss with you the goodness of the all mighty Jehovah."

Just then Deadpool opened the door all the way and stood in front of them. He then opened his robe and showed them his naked, scaly, scabby body. As they stood in shock, a woman dropped her pamphlets and vomited. Deadpool then grabbed a shotgun and the Jehovah's witnesses ran away screaming as Deadpool laughed and closed his door. 


	3. Its on now

****

Brooklyn New York

A couple of Days Later

"Maybe if I don't respond they will leave me alone," said Deadpool as he stepped out of the shower and closed the bathroom door. "Damn Jehovah's witnesses. You think they would be used to people scaring them away with fully loaded shotguns looking like a reject from a bad drug induced nightmare."

"Hello, Mr. Wilson this is publishers clearing house. You have won a million dollars tax-free and you get to be on TV." Yelled the same voice.

"Well hot dang, I'll be right out " yelled Pool in a cowboy voice. He jumped out of the shower and after quickly drying himself off he threw on some pants and a quick new appearance on the image inducer. After running by a mirror to check out his new body and hiding some guns in a closet Pool opened the door.

To his surprise instead of TV cameras and balloons, and gorgeous blondes, instead he saw one old guy with a bag and some Jehovah's witness pamphlets.

"Ha, I got you to come out. Now I would like to talk to you about God," the Jehovah's witness said.

"Sorry, gotta go plan to kill a million people, no time to talk about God," Pool said as he tried to close the door.

Instead the Jehovah's witness stuck his foot in the door, and used his shoulder to force it open. As he stepped into Deadpool`s house he took out a shotgun from his bag and hit Deadpool right in the stomach. He then pulled off his wig and his disguise and hit Deadpool in the head with the shotgun.

"Wade Wilson my name is Buckshot and I have accepted a contract to kill you," he said while checking his tape recorder. "Ok its all legal now, so time to kill you," he said and shot Pool again.

"Hey ain`t you the same guy I used to beat all the time back in Weapon X," Pool said as he grabbed a knife that was on the floor and slashed at his legs. Buckshot jumped over it and tried to drop kick Deadpool but Pool sidestepped him and sent him flying into a wall. "Yeah I member you now. You always used to drop the soap in the shower."

Just then Buckshot pulled out a Uzi and opened fire. He hit Pool a couple times and broke his TV.

"Oh no you didn't Girlfriend," Pool said snapping his fingers and jumping behind a kitchen counter. "You did not just shoot my motherfucking TV. Do you know how much Porn I had TiVo record for me on that?" Pool then jumped into a room and grabbed his mask and a gun. He shot off 2 rounds that just bounced off Buckshot's chest.

"Wait right their Supe, I need to find my Kryptonite bullets," he said as he took another couple of slugs from the Uzi. Deadpool ran into another room and quickly made his way to the ceiling. He hung off the ceiling and jumped down and slashed Buckshot across the chest. His sword cut thru the Kevlar and left a big gash right down his chest. Buckshot then turned around and unloaded a full clip into Pool's gut. As Pool dropped to the ground he picked up the shotgun and blasted Pool point blank in the chest twice. Buckshot then took a microwave and smashed it over Pool's face. When he made sure Deadpool was knocked out he took his sword and cut a big hole in his chest and made a tiny slash on his throat. As Pool lay there bleeding he took out a camcorder and turned it on.

"As you can see boss, Wade Wilson formally known as Deadpool is now dead. I hear sirens off in the distance so I can't take the body back with me. Here is all the photographic evidence of his demise. I have to go now," he said as he turned off the camcorder.

"Your lucky," he said as he kicked Deadpool in the ribs and put a new tape in his recorder. "Your lucky I owed you a favor. Too bad you don't seem to remember that night in Moscow when you saved me from the KGB. Good night Wade, don't let your roaches bite.' he said as he took the tape out and put the pamphlets on the floor next to him and left. He closed the door behind him and after hotwiring a car started his drive to LaGuardia.

A couple of hours later a figure walked up to Deadpool`s door. The figure knocked and when she didn`t get a response checked the door. The door opened and the figure stepped into the warehouse. The figure turned on the light and saw Deadpool lying in a pool of blood on the floor. As she stood their people miles away could hear the scream come from Siryn as she dropped her drink and stood they're standing over the body


	4. Siryn`s Song

****

Siryn`s Song 

20 minutes ago this was a clean room. Well as clean as it gets for Wade Wilson which means underwear hanging off a ceiling fan, porno magazines on the floor and something weird growing from an old half eaten BLT.

Right now those porno magazines are covered with blood while Theresa Cassidy stand in the doorway frozen with shock. Wade Wilson is lying Dead in a Pool of blood but right now she is not in a mood to appreciate the Irony. As she composes herself her X-Force training kicks in and she bends down to check for a pulse. She moves his head and feels a shallow pulse. Its not enough but it raises her spirits high enough that she can now worry about her new jeans being stained with blood.

Health Class or was it Biology 101 at Xavier's. When individuals with a healing factor encounter extreme trauma the healing factor will shut down all bodily functions. The individual will appear for intents and purposes dead. The subject who finds the body should straighten the body out so the bones will have a chance to set properly. During the healing process the body might spaz out so it's best to restrain the subject on a long flat surface like a table or bed. She could hear Dr. McCoy's voice loud and clear right now and chuckled softly as she pictured Wade`s reaction would be to her tying him up to a bed would be.

Picking him up very gently she stepped over a Nightcrawler teddy bear and gently laid him down on the bed. She got on top of him and while straddling his stomach tied his wrists to the bedpost. After she finished that she noticed her shit was bloody and slowly took it off and threw it on the floor. She giggled when she thought about what Wade`s reaction would be to all of this would be. She then turned around and tied his legs down, and then went looking for something to wear. Anything from some sweats to a spare image inducer so it would look like she was wearing clean clothes when instead she was bloody. As she went through his room, she noticed a type lying in his gun closet that the VCR just rejected. She took the tape and walked to the nearest working TV and turned it on and noticed it was a tape of today.

She suddenly remembered that Wade had video cameras around this place. His reason for it was very simple, she remembered. In case somebody broke in he could find out who did it and then dish out the proper punishment. As the tape finished rewinding she saw a big guy come in and start to savagely take apart Wade. At first she cried then as the fight continued she got angry. Her anger was so bad she almost knocked down a wall. She went into the room and checked Wade`s pulse once again. His pulse was stronger as she ran out the door and flew away looking for whoever that guy was. 

About an hour away she realized she had no idea who it was and changed direction. She went back to Wade`s house used the toilet quickly, grabbed the tape and made a beeline to the Xavier Institute. She was hoping somebody there could help her identify the guy and maybe Wolverine or Nathan would have some idea about where he was.

Meanwhile back in Wade`s bedroom his eyes started fluttering and his pulse quickened. His body started to spasm as his healing factor finished fixing the major damage and started to repair the rest of his body.

1 hour later his stomach lining reformed and pellets from Buckshot's shotgun flew out. The sight can only be compared to the view of popcorn kernels popping.

An hour and a half-later all his bones healed and set and his skin reformed to cover up his internal organs, and bones. Half an hour later all his cuts and bruises healed and an hour later Wade Wilson woke up.

"Where," he yelled in shock as he tried to get up but found out that he was tied down. It took some doing but he managed to get the ropes undone, and he sat up on the corner of his bed.

"Who ever did this can't tie a knot if her life depended on it. At least I hope it was a her," he said as he picked up the bloody blouse that was lying on the floor.

"This looks like something Theresa would wear. It's not short enough for Nessie, or see through enough," he said as he sniffed the shirt. The nice scent of Jasmine perfume was still on the shirt. "Oh my stars and Garter belts, this is something Theresa would wear," he said in shock


	5. Bar Room Brawl

****

Bar Room Brawl

It was a nice night in L.A. when the jet touched down in the woods outside of Suburban L.A. Maybe touched down is the wrong word to use because right now the jet was hovering above the woods as the mutant code-named Siryn opened the door and flew out of the jet. The jet is question belongs to the team of mutant adventures known throughout the world as the X-Men and the jet is being piloted by two of those same X-Men, the two code-named Cyclops and Nightcrawler. When the X-Man known as Wolverine gave Siryn a possible address on the bounty hunter called Buckshot, she found out that Cyclops was on his way to California so she hitched a ride with the two X-Men, because it was the fastest way possible, short of teleporting and hitching a ride on Quicksilver's back. 

I love this feeling Siryn thought as a gentle breeze blew through her long red hair. I love this feeling of flying or being like a bird. I just hope Wade is feeling better right now.

And so with the casual thought our scene shifts across the country to a place in Brooklyn. From the outside it is a standard non-descript looking warehouse, but on the inside right now it was much more then that.

"Wilson if you do not sit still I will beat the crap outta you," proclaimed a very frustrated Dr. Henry McCoy aka Beast as he growled and showed his sharp pointy teeth. Beast has tried every method he could think of and still he could not get Deadpool to sit still so he thought the hard way would work.

So far it didn`t seen to be working because Deadpool, was on the other side of the room holding up a sword and he had a glock in his hands and he doesn't seem like is listening to the Doctor's orders.

"You and what army," said Deadpool, as he cocked the hammer on his gun. "Last time a Doctor messed with me I ended up looking like Freddy Kruger's worst nightmare."

"Put down the weapons Wilson," said Beast with a sigh. "I've faced Magneto, the Sentinels, and Dr.Doom, so I`m not scared of a sword and a gun."

"Nope, No can do Doc," said Deadpool as he raised the sword. "I don't need no stinking Doctor, Comprende" 

"Look, Pacino, Siryn was worried so she sent me to check up on you," McCoy said as he tried the last tactic left. It seemed to work because just like magic, Deadpool dropped the weapons and jumped on the bed with a huge smile. Then as Beast advanced his smile started to fade a bit.

"Where is Theresa anyway," Deadpool said.

"I'll tell you after I finish doing my job," said Beast as he took out his stethoscope.

"No you'll tell me now," Deadpool said in a serious tone as a gun suddenly appeared in his hand.

Shit, thought Beast as he felt the gun touch his temple. Mr. Big Bad X-Man I am, I should have spotted that gun. Scotty would tear my head off he was here.

"The lovely Siryn is in L.A.," said McCoy as he heard the gun being cocked. "Logan gave her a lead on the guy who did this to you."

Just then Deadpool started laughing as he lowered the gun. "Relax Doc, its unloaded. You should have seen the look on your face," said Deadpool as he jumped off the bed. "I gotta stop her before something bad happens," and with that he pulled on his mask and ran out the door while Beast collected his thoughts.

Visibly relieved, Beast picked up the gun Deadpool dropped on the bed. He checked the gun and saw that it was fully loaded with Hollow Tip bullets. He dropped the gun and since Deadpool already left he did the only thing that was left to do. He turned off the lights and locked the door behind him as he left to go back to Mansion. 

Back in L.A. things were a little different as Siryn landed at a bar that looks like it should be demolished and rebuilt because this place looked horrible. Dirty windows, trash on the sidewalk, pimps and drug dealers, the whole nine yards. Logan said somebody here cold help me find Buckshot, or if I was really lucky he would be here himself, Theresa thought as the shock from her landing on the concrete, traveled up her boots, and through her body.

She took a moment to collect her thoughts as stood still and drew in a lung fill of air. After she took a deep breath she then screamed and every piece of glass in the bar and the surrounding buildings shattered, into a million pieces. She stepped over the broken glass and walked in through the new front door and surveyed the damage she had caused. 

Everybody in the place stopped what they were doing because all of their glasses broke, and watched as Siryn calmly said "Does anybody know where ah can find Buckshot," in her Irish accent.

Back across the country, Deadpool kicked in the door of his friend Weasel's apartment, and wiped his feet on it.

"Awe come on Wade. Do you know how much those things cost," said a very annoyed Weasel to his friend.

"Never mind that. Where's Bucky?" said Deadpool as he tore open the refrigerator, and grabbed a quick snack.

"Why you wanna know, you wanna test how good your healing factor is," said Weasel who got serious as he saw that Deadpool wasn`t laughing and was looking for weapons.

"Whats wrong Pool?" said a concerned Weasel as he got up and unlocked the gun closet.

"Long Story. Short version is me and Buckshot got into a fight. He won and Theresa found me bleeding. Now shes in L.A. and I wanna get there before something bad happens," said Deadpool as he grabbed more guns. "Hey did you move the explosive shells?" 

"Yeah, third drawer on the left. Let me give you his last known location so you can teleport there."

"Found them," said Deadpool as he finished his drink and loaded his weapons.

"Good luck," said Weasel as Deadpool teleported away.

Back in L.A. Siryn was mad at herself. She had knocked everybody out when she wanted to leave a couple of people awake for questions. It seems everybody gets mad when you break all the beer mugs in a bar. Siryn managed to find a plastic mug in the back and sat down at a table as she poured herself some soda. Lets hope somebody wakes up soon, she thought as she put her feet up on the table, and felt a long thin wire, wrap across her throat.

In an apartment a couple of blocks away, it was pitch black silence. Out of nowhere a bright light flashed, in one of the rooms, and then a second later, there was numerous other flashes as Deadpool unloaded his M-16. 2 seconds later he stopped shooting and heard a cat scream in pain as he noticed the place was empty. He then bumped into a table as he turned on the lights in the now bullet ridden room.

"All that beautiful ammo wasted and I didn`t get to swisschesse anybody," said Pool as he grabbed a remote and threw it into the TV. "Lets hope hes at his bar. I could use a good fight right," he said as he slammed the door shut. 

That particular bar in question is about a good 2 block run away from Deadpool`s current location. You would have to be blind to miss it because of all the broken glass on the street. Back in the bar, Siryn was currently speechless as she was being choked by a thin wire.

"Do you know much damage you caused," said a very angry Buckshot as he pulled on the wire harder. "It took me forever to kill the previous owners of this place and make it into a respectable place, but you had to come and ruin all that."

It was a good thing he wasn`t expecting an answer because at that moment, Siryn could care less. Her hands were moving wildly as she grabbed the mug and smashed it on Buckshot's head, and fell on her knees as he dropped the wire. He grabbed a gun, and started shooting as she rolled out of the way.

Normally Siryn would use her powers, and scream at him and the fight would be over, but thanks to that wire she could barely breath much less, scream, so she needed time to catch her breath and maybe survive. She grabbed a pool ball off the floor and heaved it at him, and then swung a pool stick at him. He ducked the pool stick and rammed his shoulders into chest and rammed her against the wall. Siryn felt a sharp pain as she hard her ribs crack.

Back on the street Deadpool noticed the broken glass and ran as fast as he can could to the bar, as Siryn was trying her hardest not to black out. When she hit the wall what ever air she had left rushed out of her body, and she fell down hard, onto some broken glass.

Buckshot then backed up and took out a gun, and aimed at her head. Feeling a last second adrenaline rush, Siryn jumped up and launched a roundhouse kick at his head. It was a desperation attack, and both of them knew as Buckshot grabbed her leg. He caught her foot and in one swift, motion spun around and pistol whipped her. The barrel of the gun crashed into her temple and blood squirted out as she fell down unconscious, as Buckshot wiped the blood off the gun, and prepared to shoot. Just then he heard a loud shout as Deadpool opened fire with the M-16. 

"BUCKY," yelled Deadpool as Buckshot dove out of the way. Deadpool then ran to Siryn and fired an explosive round at him.

Buckshot narrowly missed getting blown up, but instead caught a stiff kick to his head as Deadpool rushed him. Deadpool then swung the barrel of his shotgun and caught Buckshot right in his rib cage.

For the first time in a long time Deadpool was quiet. He didn`t make any jokes as he kicked Buckshot in his kidneys. He just felt anger over what happened to Siryn and vented it as he broke a chair over Buckshot`s head and stabbed him in the stomach with a pool stick. He then picked him up and threw him into the bar counter and threw pool balls at his head. After he hit Buckshot right between the eyes, with a pool ball, he heard sirens, so he pulled out a gun, and shot Buckshot in the heart. He dropped the gun as he grabbed Siryn and ran out the bar.

He gently laid Siryn down on a roof a couple of buildings away as he pulled off his mask. Tears came pouring down as checked to see if she was still alive. Fearing the worst he was relieved to find out she was still alive. He pulled out a cell phone and put in a call to the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters, told Gambit that he needed help for Siryn. A half hour later, a jet hovered above the roof and Nightcrawler teleported to the roof. He grabbed Siryn and Deadpool and teleported both of them to the jet, as it flew away.

Nightcrawler handled medical duties while Cyclops and Deadpool had a talk. After Deadpool told Cyclops everything he sat down in the seat next to Siryn. He soon fell asleep in the seat, holding Siryn`s hand. About an hour later Cyclops walked over to Deadpool and tried to wake him up. Out of nowhere a gun appeared pointed at Cyclops` head, and Deadpool jumped out of his seat.

"Do you do that to everybody," said Cyclops as he pushed the gun out of the way.

"Sorry," said Deadpool. "Force of habit. Tell Beast I`m sorry."

"We`re going to drop you off here. Hank is waiting to see Theresa and your not the most welcomed person at the mansion right now. We`re going to drop you off, and I promise you, she will be taken care of."

Just then the jet came to a full stop as Deadpool grabbed Nightcrawler`s tail. "Elevator down," he yelled as they both teleported out of the jet. Nightcrawler teleported a couple of feet above the ground and let Deadpool fall hard on his butt.

"Hey," yelled Deadpool as he got up and rubbed the spot where he hit, but it was no use because the jet took off at high speed. Deadpool then grabbed the stuff he dropped and proceeded to go home.


End file.
